Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Pay less, get more!

Wednesday December 12th through Sunday December 16th, I'm having a BOGO sale in my Etsy Shop!

That's right kids!
Buy ONE Get ONE Free!

Come one, come all. Buy one item and receive another item (of equal or lesser value) free (limit two freebies per order)!

Any questions? E-mail me at!

I'll even giftwrap your stuff all purty like, on the house.

Buy Handmade

Thursday, December 6, 2007

In Yer Lunchbox!

I know it probably seemed like I approached the entire Obsession du Cupcake with a little bit of sass and sour. For this I am sorry.

To make it up to you, I offer one of the few Cupcake Contraptions that DOES have my heart. These little thingamajiggers are called/by Cupacake. Brilliant! An individual container for all of your cupcakes!

So they say: "This unique container will hold a frosted cupcake in place with protrusions positioned in such a way that the cupcake will not move within the container if jiggled or turned upside down." Well, it's about time!

The only thing that would make these little things better is if my BFF Angela* made the cupcakes for me and moved into my place so she could put a delectable nugget in my lunchbox every morning.

* Angela is obsessed with the cupcakes. She suggested that I write to Wilton about the Crocs wearing silicone cupcake SillyFeet things. Lord.

Festive Holiday Math

Dear Holiday Bakers,

In the mood for a little minty crunch atop your favorite baked goods and candies this holiday season? No doubt you are! I realize that we're all busy, so don't think for a second that I don't have your best interest in mind. Williams & Sonoma has you fooled, though. I mean, I love them just as much as the next cooking supply store, chock full o' pots, pans, knives and bakeware. I also love that they diversify and include baking kits, sauces and salsas too!

But what I don't understand is why they think consumers are stupid. I'll do the math for you.

A Hammer
Some Pent Up Aggression (from work, maybe?)
A Box of Candy Canes (probably $1 at your local grocery store)
about $1 (right?)

This little jar of wonderment and joy:EQUALS $10 (not including tax & shipping).

If you want peppermint candy sprinkles this year, call me. I'm offering a one time only deal. A whole jar of broken bits FOR FREE.

The Disgruntled Gay Housewife

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

My Christmas Wishlist (thus far...and I know it's full of wishes).

Dear Santa,

I've been a pretty decent kid this year. I realize you're a busy guy, and I'm kind of on the older end of the "kid" spectrum, but my Mom told me that it never hurt to ask. So, here's my Christmas Wishlist. It's simple and filled mostly with little things that'll make me happy. If anything, this post will be fun to look back on now and again.

1. To decorate my crafting desk area, I'd really like this print. Not only is it quirky and weird, but the woman who creates these craft uses found items...which is, my dear Santa, my favorite way to craft. This is by seller Artsy on Etsy and is available here for only $14.

2. Next are these earrings from kpglassjewelry1 at Etsy. Her stuff is GAWGEOUS! It's really simple, clean modern stuff that suits my simple, clean, modern earring preference (believe it or not, I don't wear most of the stuff I make!). She inserts the cherry red lampworked glass beads onto the sterling silver posts. And they're squares! I love squares. Available here for $28. She has them in lots of other colors, but I'm most fond of the red (natch).

3. Q Hoops by maryandjane at Etsy. I have her @ earrings and I love them. I figure these would be a suitable addition to the family. They're available here for $16.

4. Any of MissHawklet's yarn on Etsy. I just want all of it, basically.

5. Any of craftpudding on Etsy's handcarved stamps, especially those pictured below.

6. One of uglykitty on Etsy's handmade Address File Boxes! Currently they're available for pre-order, but I don't mind waiting! These things are fab! Available here for $65.

7. A gift card to Paper Source, because I really can't decide what I want!

Thanks Santa. :-)


Monday, December 3, 2007

Cabinet Space - The Neverending Quest for a Cupcake Transportation Device

When I was a kid, my mom would make big honkin' sheet cakes for just about every occasion. Birthdays, St. Patrick's Day, "the bridge" from Brownies to Cadettes in Girl Scouts. You name it, she made a cake for it. I do believe I lead a blessed childhood, as far as cake was concerned.

The big thing these days, though, seems to be cupcakes. I don't know what makes people think cupcakes easier, really. In fact, I don't think it takes a MENSA-grade level of logic to determine that they are more time consuming. Yet people persist with the cupcake obsession! I've even jumped on the bandwagon, having created an elaborate anniversary celebration cake made with 100+ cupcakes for Dyke Night at the DC Eagle. My mother would be so proud.

Nevertheless, there is an ever growing niche market for Cupcake Lovers. Jumping on the bandwagon to design the Next Best Thing, people are acquiring patents and marketing things all over the place (much like the scrapbooking phenomena exploding out of Provo, Utah [ProvoCraft, etc.]). I've noticed a few things on the way that seem interesting:

In the event your cupcakes need to travel somewhere on foot, Wilton's brought us the Silly Feet! line. I'm personally waiting for Silly Feet! adorned in glittery stilettos. Then again, they might teeter a bit (which is an amazing commentary on modern shoe design, no?). Or, even better, CROCS!

Forget the mini cupcakes and indulge in a gigantor version. Again, Wilton has done it with this incredibly unique creation. Bake the Dimensions® Large Cupcake in two halves and then, when cooled, plop them securely together with a bit of your best buttercream. I have to admit that this is the only cupcake creation that blends the ease of the sheet cake with the quirky cuteness of a teensy cupcake. I might forget, however, that this is one large cupcake and insist on not sharing with anyone in my general vicinity. I can get rather territorial when baked goods are around.

Linens 'n Things offers this Ultimate 3-in-1 Cupcake Caddy. My Mom would like this one! Not only can you store and transport cupcakes, but this caddy can help your everyday sheet cake OR 24 mini cupcakes! Lord Almighty. This might actually fit in one of my [limited] kitchen cabinets. I also like anything that's functional and utilitarian. Theoretically, you could keep a pie in there. You could even hide a birthday present or all of your cake decorating supplies. Sure, it only holds 12 cupcakes in its neat little grooves, but the possibilities are endless.

Finally, despite the myriad of other cupcake knick knacks available to the residential baker, I'd like to offer this gem. Brilliant design? Well, yes. Cute colors? Absolutely. Realistic for the average person? Um, only if you have an enormous house and/or cabinetry to spare. Meet the Cupcake Courier. Jennifer Gunn, a mother of two living in SoCal, came up with this little doohickey in an attempt to "solve one of the biggest headaches of [her] life -- transporting cupcakes." With her thoughtful (*cough*) contraption, you can haul 36 (that's three whole dozen!) cupcakes to parties all over the land. I hate to make fun of the average housewife, because I do believe they/we are amazing creatures, but when one of your life's biggest headaches is how to cart around cupcakes, I do believe you've either achieved a noble level of peace and tranquility in your life or you forgot to read the newspaper that morning.

I guess what I'm saying, folks, is that there's no reason to spend a bajillion dollars on a fancy-pants cupcake thingamajig designed by a [bored] SoCal housewife or (and Alton Brown would be proud) on something that only has one use. There are a lot of ingenious ways to make, transport and serve the little pufflets of joy. And remember, in the immortal words of my Momma, "nothing's easier than a quick sheetcake".

Ok, ok. I will say that it's easier to sneak a snack in the creation process when making a cupcake army versus working on a sheet cake. But again, do what my Mom did and make two!
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