Thursday, August 28, 2008

The Omnivore's Hundred - Everybody's doing it.

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.

The Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects (<-- more specifically, "swallowed a whole insect that flew into my mouth the other night".) 43. Phaal 44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill (<-- I mean, unless I was really hard up.) 76. Baijiu 77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse (<-- in Switzerland...unknowingly. It was tragic. I'll tell the story one day.) 90. Criollo chocolate 91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab

93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Quirky...that's fun to say.

kdiddy (who is funny as shit, so get over there and love her) decided to test her blog readership's commitment to actually reading her blog, and well, I winned! Apparently, I have to tell you six unspectacular quirks about myself. But...what is a quirk if not spectacular!? Here goes, regardless.

The Rules:

1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell about six unspectacular quirks you possess.
4. Tag six following blogger by linking them. (<-- do I have six followers?!)
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger's blogs letting them know they have been tagged. (<-- kdiddy did not do this, and I'm not going to meme-stalk you either)

1. French Fries
I line them up. Some people call it "OCD", but I'm more fond of quirk. I line my french fries up according to size and eat them in pairs. If I deviate from this, it's either because I'm tired or drunk.

2. Burps
Whenever someone burps, I say "Bless You". Burps are so much more fun than sneezes, and everyone needs a blessing now and then. Sometimes the "Bless You" is followed by a "Jesus Christ, did you barf in your mouth?!", therefore making the blessing more religious.

3. Bags
I'm a bag lady. I'm finally admitting it. OK!? In fact, I have bags in my bags. And I keep extra bags in the event I'll need more bags when the bags I'm currently carrying become full and/or inadequate. My most recent bag purchase was a red and white polka dotted oilcloth thing to hold all of my "electronics" in my messenger bag. It sits next to my ladybug medicine bag, my "just in case I go grocery shopping" bag and is also currently resting atop a Bed, Bath & Beyond bag that is holding my Excedrin Tension Headache purchase from last night.

4. Laundry
My favorite time to fold laundry is while it's still hot. Sometimes, I race to the dryer to catch it before the buzzer goes off. Sometimes, I check the dryer 378 times before it's ready just to see if it's ready. And if I miss it, I have to fluff whatever is in the dryer for at least 10 minutes. And then...the folding. Oy. The folding.

5. E-mail
In the days of yore, when people sent forwards, I would edit all of the < symbols and wacky formatting errors out of the e-mail before forwarding it myself. I would also correct spelling, grammar and punctuation. Now I tend to do this in MySpace. People have actually noticed and laughed at me.

6. Calendars
I love calendars, especially Page-A-Days and fancy day planners. BUT, I never remember to tear off the pages or add things to my day planner. In fact, when I do remember to write things on or in my calendar I generally forget them later. I've convinced myself that my mind is a steel trap, when in fact I've forgotten that it is actually's something akin to warm Silly Putty. The impression might stay, but it's still pretty freakin' soft.

Ta da!

I'm tagging:
DiSnazzio - because she didn't comply with kdiddy's tagging
Debonair Geek - because...whatareyoudoing?!
Dandelion Blu - because it seems like she might need a break from crafting
Silver Bee - because she seems like a quirky lady
Nicole is Cooking - because her food posts make me want to eat my monitor
NoveltyKitten - because she's fancy

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Tune in 'cause I'm tuned out...

Sorry Kids. It's been hectic around my gay household, what with fame and all. Feast on this little mixtape I made y'all in the meantime. These are jams I listen to when I'm working around the house or working to pay the bills. High energy assault into a slow, smooth slumber. Wahoo!

MixwitMixwit make a mixtapeMixwit mixtapes

Friday, August 15, 2008

Look Ma! I'm in the paper!

A few weeks ago, I got an e-mail from a local gay journalist completely excited to have found my blog. She was writing a story about the recent cupcake fad through the lense of lesbians getting back to domesticity. Naturally, my blog makes sense.

So after a brief e-mail Q&A and a promise to send me the link when it was published, I waited patiently. Today's the day, kids! I'm in the news!

Check out my Washington Blade article here! (That's not me in the photograph.)

So much pressure now. I'm actually going to have to write substantive blog posts. Oh, the horror. :-)

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Will I be seeing you tomorrow? Pretty please with a lentil on top?

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you." ~A.A. Milne

Have you ever been sitting quietly out in nature (at the beach, in the woods, etc) and felt a breeze go by that was absolutely perfect? Slightly cool, brisk but not blustery, and it tossled your hair in a way that tickled your scalp and maybe even gave you a shiver? Two years and four months ago, I had one of those breezes. I caught it, wrestled it into a jar and have tended it ever since. This soft, perfect breeze is my best friend, Angela.

There's a lot of sap and nonsense around cultivating friendships and maintaining them. Ridiculous ceramic plaques boasting the Footprints poems, broken hearts on chains to wear until they tarnish, roadtrips and slumber parties. There are so many cliches about friendship, and I fought for them for years. I wanted that earthquake of emotion to ride into my life. I wanted someone without whom I could not live, because I would not be understood. And I'm ridiculously lucky and grateful to have found her.

9.5.06 Okay, please tell me you don't have plans on Saturday afternoon, because I'm having withdrawal pains. We must hang out. I got all misty-eyed at the opening chords of "Ridin'" yesterday. The situation has become critical!

I think that one of the most fantastic joys about my friendship with Angela is laughing. As simple as it may sound, the foundation of our friendship is held together with hilarity. We can laugh, chuckle and howl to the point of quaking bodies and tears. We know just what to say in order to crack the other up, and we are able to do it at the most perfect and imperfect moments. This is my most cherished facet of our friendship.

Angela also understands me more than anyone else ever has, in her very special way. She calms me when I'm rustled, energizes me when I'm down, quiets me when I'm over-excited and supports me when I feel like my hammock in life gave way beneath me. Very few people are blessed with such an amazing gift.

So on this day of her birth, I want to tell the world how fantastic my best friend is, and let her know how full and happy my heart is to have her on my side. She is my sister, my confidant, my wife and my sidekick. Without her, I would be empty. With her, I overflow. I love you, Bucko.

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." ~Albert Schweitzer

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

"So then he ordered a Frappylappychino for me."

Having worked at cafes, coffeeshops, and retail in general, I am attuned to the disdainful groan elicited when someone orders a ridiculous beverage. These charming customer (read: assholes) wander into Starbucks, Caribou or their local coffee joints and, while they probably couldn't describe the difference between a latte and a cappuccino, attempt to order something like a "Half-caf soy skinny latte, no foam". Um.

Ri-goddamn-diculous, I say.

I started ordering coffee a while ago, satisfied with my intensely strong and heavily creamed "wake me out of a coma" brew. It's just easier...on me and on "baristas". I don't want to risk having some inexperience kid behind the bar scald my milk or pour disgustingly bitter espresso shots, and I don't want to constantly have to adjust my palate when my Caramel Macchiato isn't as caramelly or sweet as it should be. All I have to do is walk into the shop, stare longily at the pastry case, ask for my cup of coffee and doctor it up so it's at least palatable and move on my way.

But my coffee loving experience changed recently...BECAUSE I CAN'T HAVE MILK. Argh! Coffee and milk are like corn and peas, or peanut butter and jelly, or Barnes & Noble and a really bad date. They are meant for each other! I decided that rather than torturing myself with bad coffee and non-dairy creamer, that I would give coffee up completely and just drink tea. But sadly, it's unsatisfying.

I started my move back to coffeedom at home, with my fancy little Keurig one-cup brewing machine. I made some strong organic joe, added the non-dairy creamer, a little sugar and stepped onto my front balcony to enjoy the morning and, hopefully, the coffee. And I did! For the past few weeks, I've continued in this tradition and picked up coffee at work with friends or even out on the town, so long as a dairy free creamer was available.

My BFF and I were training up to Baltimore last weekend and she ordered an iced caramel soy latte at one of the coffee stands in Union Station. I took a swig and found it was divine. Normally, I can't really stand the flavor of soy milk but this was delicious! When we made it up to Baltimore, I bought one of my very own at Red Canoe and again loved it. I had one more Sunday morning at One World Cafe in Charles Village and confirmed my adoration.

Caramel Soy Latte...I <3 you.
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