Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Holidaze: A brief history o' the Irish

The historical accuracy of this story is hotly contested, but just go with it, wouldya!?

So once upon a time, there were these Irish brothers and they were like, "we have this amazing sourdough starter but we're out here in the old country and what in God's name are we going to do when the potatoes are black and the heathen English are invading us with their Protestantism!?" So these Irish guys...let's call them Seamus, Liam and Paddy O'Blarney...they hop on a canoe and row. And row. And row. And row. All the while, Liam's got this amazing sourdough starter in his pocket (tight pants - foreshadowing), careful not to let it tip over in the rowdy Atlantic.

They reach land roundabout Philadelphia and Seamus says, "we can't make our bread around these dusty old wig wearin' eejits...who, by the by, I do believe are missing a few of their lucky charms, standin' around all day writing a Constitution when they could be drinkin' WHISKEY!

Paddy says, "Jaysus Seamus! Yer always goin' on about the feckin' booze!"

Seamus replies, "Oh, yeah. Right ya are! So now, we need to head west, trample over the Mormons and plant ourselves in close proximity to the Ghirardellis, who I hear are opening a chocolate factory! There we can change our name from O'Blarney to Boudin, and we'll make the best tastin' bread right on the shiny Frisco Bay!"

Liam, who secretly has a penchat for limp-wristed leprechauns, shouts, "OH, can we brothers? I've got a bit saved, y'knows! We can get a flat in the Castro."

So the O'Blarney brothers set off on their trek west and settled in a cozy loft with vaulted ceilings, restored hardwood floors and a clawfoot tub. They opened their bakery in Fisherman's Wharf and they spent the next howevermany years making the most delicious sourdough bread using the starter they canoed and carted all the way from Ireland.

You too can enjoy the fruits of their labors, and celebrate this decidedly authentic Irish tradition, by purchasing a St. Paddy's Gift from Boudin Bakery for St. Patrick's Day (which is precisely two weeks away, y'ninnies!). For the bargain price of $24.95 (plus shipping, which is pricey but worth it), you'll get two shamrock-shaped sourdough loaves and their own special recipe Irish soda bread. The O'Blarney...ahem, Boudin...brothers thank ye for it!

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